Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Finally Gettin the Tick I deserve

Man am I tired after playin 22 minutes last night but I wouldnt be if I was gettin that Tick regularly. Shit man I went out there and showed em all I still got it. 2 for 9 from the field, man, those are Ben Gordon like numbers and all ya all askin how we gonna replace him? With me, Lindsey Hunter!

Man I played so good I even had my own fan club. They were all cheerin for me things like Look at that 50 year old man. The realize that guys like Me and Favre still got it. Hey man if he can be the MVP I can too, I just need the tick. That kid we call our coach obviously doesnt have as much experience as me cuz i'd be playing me 25 a game, but only cuz you gotta save my legs for down the stretch, you know. What's Vinny half my age anyways? I mean he's all about giving Jannero Pargo more tick than me... was Jannero Pargo drafted one pick ahead of Allan Houston? I don't think so vinny!

Anyways ya'll I better get goin cuz Aaron's comin over and we's about to watch Next Friday and roll a big fat blunt T-Mac style maybe cook up some pop corn and suck down some watermelon. I'll keep ya posted about what crazy things we get into but I better lay low with Captain Kirk out now cuz I gotta put this team on my back now.

Peace Homies

We'z in Milwaukee, Bitch

We playin da Bucks

We just got to Milwaukee after being stuck out west cuz a bunch of friggin elephants were dancin around at the UC. Red Kerr is still spinnin in his grave that the bearded lady plays on the floor the MJ Built but thats what you have to do to pay the rent in Chicago's fine west side.

Me and my boy Aaron Gray took our day off yesterday to go to the Miller Brewery. That shit was whack man, I can't believe so many beers can be in one place. I felt like I was in Germany or some shit with all those Beers. Little did me and Aaron know but our tour of the brewery was to be hosted with this guy Bernie the Brewer. I didn't know what they would promote a lowly brewer who sits there slaving over his beer maker to host famous celebrities like me and the G funk allstar. Turns out the Miller company has an equal employment policy cuz this Bernie was a straight up waterhead yo. Not only was Bernie's head the size of Aaron's ballsack, might friggin big for a white boy, but he had this creepster mustache and couldnt even talk. He was silly lookin too, like all fuzzy and shit. I never seen a whiteboy so pasty in all my day.

Anyways it was a great tour my boy Aaron kept chuggin all these new beers and was all yellin and shit. I even saw a few fiiine as white women from wisconsin.. shit man they dont make em like that in Mississippi. It was tough to get Aaron to leave, it was like watchin a gorilla at a banana factory. That country boy loves his booze man. Hes crazy. When we was leavin though He got really wasted and tried to dunk on Bernie the Brewer. Bernie up and rejected his ass into the third row. Unfortunately Aaron didnt have a basketball and was trying to dunk Bernie's big head into a vat of beer after he ripped it off Bernie. That Bernie was one crazy white boy tho, not only did his hops Mutumbo-ize Aaron but he even managed to grow a new little head after his big one came all poppin off. Aaron was all laughin and shit and said it was he was too drunk.

I had to step in and say sumthin you know im like the veteran leader here so i was all like yo man you gotsta stop drinkin on these days off man. Aaron gave me a funny look and reminded me who joakim noah was. I said Aaron man dont getcho hopes down man some day my boy jo is gonna get busted for reefer and were gonna need you man. Then aaron said ya but not tomorrow im gonna dunk on Ersan Ilyasova and then burp miller lite in his face then im gonna tell him Welcome to America I ate Turkey for Thanksgiving, bitch.

Thats my boy Aaron straight country. Gotta run, Stern's got a new rule we cant write dis shit during games and Ty Chandler already got fined like $10G... i mean shit, 10 G is like highway robbery. thats like the Bucks gettin me in exchange for Billy Owens, man, my career has been so much better than his. I forgot I played for the Bucks, hell I used to live in Milwaukee. I guess it just wasn't as crazy when I didnt have Aaron with me at the end of the bench.

We'z in Milwaukee, Bitch

We playin da Bucks

We just got to Milwaukee after being stuck out west cuz a bunch of friggin elephants were dancin around at the UC. Red Kerr is still spinnin in his grave that the bearded lady plays on the floor the MJ Built but thats what you have to do to pay the rent in Chicago's fine west side.

Me and my boy Aaron Gray took our day off yesterday to go to the Miller Brewery. That shit was whack man, I can't believe so many beers can be in one place. I felt like I was in Germany or some shit with all those Beers. Little did me and Aaron know but our tour of the brewery was to be hosted with this guy Bernie the Brewer. I didn't know what they would promote a lowly brewer who sits there slaving over his beer maker to host famous celebrities like me and the G funk allstar. Turns out the Miller company has an equal employment policy cuz this Bernie was a straight up waterhead yo. Not only was Bernie's head the size of Aaron's ballsack, might friggin big for a white boy, but he had this creepster mustache and couldnt even talk. He was silly lookin too, like all fuzzy and shit. I never seen a whiteboy so pasty in all my day.

Anyways it was a great tour my boy Aaron kept chuggin all these new beers and was all yellin and shit. I even saw a few fiiine as white women from wisconsin.. shit man they dont make em like that in Mississippi. It was tough to get Aaron to leave, it was like watchin a gorilla at a banana factory. That country boy loves his booze man. Hes crazy. When we was leavin though He got really wasted and tried to dunk on Bernie the Brewer. Bernie up and rejected his ass into the third row. Unfortunately Aaron didnt have a basketball and was trying to dunk Bernie's big head into a vat of beer after he ripped it off Bernie. That Bernie was one crazy white boy tho, not only did his hops Mutumbo-ize Aaron but he even managed to grow a new little head after his big one came all poppin off. Aaron was all laughin and shit and said it was he was too drunk.

I had to step in and say sumthin you know im like the veteran leader here so i was all like yo man you gotsta stop drinkin on these days off man. Aaron gave me a funny look and reminded me who joakim noah was. I said Aaron man dont getcho hopes down man some day my boy jo is gonna get busted for reefer and were gonna need you man. Then aaron said ya but not tomorrow im gonna dunk on Ersan Ilyasova and then burp miller lite in his face then im gonna tell him Welcome to America I ate Turkey for Thanksgiving, bitch.

Thats my boy Aaron straight country. Gotta run, Stern's got a new rule we cant write dis shit during games and Ty Chandler already got fined like $10G... i mean shit, 10 G is like highway robbery. thats like the Bucks gettin me in exchange for Billy Owens, man, my career has been so much better than his. I forgot I played for the Bucks, hell I used to live in Milwaukee. I guess it just wasn't as crazy when I didnt have Aaron with me at the end of the bench.